When sex suits both partners, the relationship is better. And if there are problems in bed, it often affects other areas of life. Why does this happen – and what does really good sex consist of?
Not everyone understands the essence of sexual relations correctly. Sex is not just a physical act with a little foreplay, penetration, and orgasm. It can be said to be a multidimensional experience that affects the bodies, senses, and brains of both partners. It is a way of interaction between two partners, a channel for the exchange of fantasies, and a means of expressing hidden desires. In other words, the physical, emotional, and sensory components of sex combine to create invaluable relationship experiences. And when a couple’s sex life gets worse, they lose not only the way they physically interact but much more.
Another point: sex is not only (and not so much) of penetration, and it is important to use all the necessary elements to strengthen the intimate connection. Let’s talk about them in more detail!
1. Affectionate touch
You can live peacefully without physical intercourse, but without the touch of a partner, very many become aggressive, withdrawn, and may even plunge into depression. That is why the warmest relationships are usually with those who treat each other tenderly and are in close contact every day. Massaging, holding a hand, kissing, stroking your hair – any type of touch is good for strengthening the bond between partners. Pay attention to how he responds to your touches and kisses. These moments can be as passionate as sex itself, and they show unconditional love and acceptance.
2. Sexual desire
People love to be wanted by their partners. This encourages them to adventure in bed, the embodiment of bold fantasies and the desire to do everything so that the partner likes it.
But desire is not something that can be evoked with a wave of the hand. It’s important to understand what works best for you. For example, do you feel like having sex after a shower or a busy day at work? Tell your partner about this and determine where you coincide.
3. Deep satisfaction
Sexual compatibility alone doesn’t mean so much: you need to understand what both of you can do to strengthen your intimate bond. Think of sex not only as an actor but also as a language that you can learn to endlessly improve.
This can take time because talking about sex is difficult if we have been taught to be silent from childhood. Tell your partner what you like in bed (for example: “I love it when you are on top because I see your pleasure” or “Call me by name, it makes me happy”). When you put your desires into words, real emotional needs come out of the shadows and become visible. And both of you can satisfy them and enjoy it.
How to check if your sex life is good?
Here are some questions to help you understand this:
- Is sex a big part of your relationship?
- Do any of you remember how often you have sex?
- If one wants sex and the other doesn’t, is the initiator upset/angry?
If your answer is yes, you may be placing too much emphasis on sex. It’s time to stop thinking of him as the only way of intimate interaction and start spending more time together outside of bed. With negative answers in your relationship, sex matters, but not decisive, this is just one of the areas of life together. Keep up the good work, discuss it more often and use different ways of interaction.