We have a thousand questions for men! Michael Nast, columnist and relationship author from Berlin, answers some of them for us. Today: Is a friendship between women and men really possible?
Can women and men really be friends? I asked this question to my friend David on Wednesday: “Friendship between men and women? Doesn’t exist,” he replied resolutely. “Unless,” he thought for a moment, “She just isn’t his type. “
That is of course a bit bold, but David is already describing the correct principle. There are of course friendships between men and women. But only under certain circumstances. It’s a matter of sexual attractiveness. The friendship between men and women is possible if sexual can be hidden. When neither of the two hopes for a love relationship. Men are slaves to their instincts. You will always remember to sleep with her. And if a man spends a lot of time in a supposed friendship with a woman he finds sexually attractive, there is a high risk of eventually falling in love with her. And then he will suffer.
When I think about which women I would call friends, I can’t think of any who I would sleep with. I have a girlfriend with whom I get along very well. We have the same sense of humor, there is hardly anyone with whom I can laugh so wildly. Objectively speaking, she is a really attractive woman, but when I imagine sleeping with her, I feel resistance. Seen in this way, she is a buddy type for me, the best foundation for friendship between men and women. I once naively made the mistake of telling her that too. That was hurtful, of course. It was an insult, after all, even though it was meant as a compliment. She speaks to me about it today.
Ultimately, the series “How I Met Your Mother” tells the whole story. The protagonist Ted falls in love with Robin in the first episode. She also quickly becomes part of Ted’s closest circle of friends. They get together, break up again, keep trying before she gets together with one of his best friends. Ted still has feelings for her. They never become real friends. It is his long-term project, with which he finally comes together in the last episode via countless dates, a marriage that resulted in two children. Everything in between was just a substitute.
I checked that the scripts for the series were all written by men. It’s not a coincidence. We just can’t get out of our skin.